Throughout my marriage I spent my time trying to please my spouse. I did whatever he asked. I went wherever he wanted to go. I cooked what he wanted. But sometimes that just wasn’t enough. I was making myself miserable by only being happy when I was able to please him. Looking back I now see the problem. It wasn’t him. It was me. I was trying to be who he wanted me to be rather than who God wanted me to be. When we try to please others, we will never be happy. However, when we live to please God, we will always be content and have joy.

If you are living a life where you are trying to please man, or woman, and you are finding you just can’t do it, know it’s time for a change. Whether it be at work, at home, with a friend, etc. Know that it’s time to change and focus on pleasing God by living in obedience to Him. When you decide to make that change, you will find many rewards. Here’s how:


It’s time to clean house. This doesn’t necessary mean the things where you live but the things in your mind. What old thoughts keep bringing you back to where you feel bad about yourself? What old ways do you need to turn from? Remember God is all about helping and renewing us but we have to be willing to get rid of the old. Ask God to help you change your thoughts.


Romans 12:2 tells us not to conform to the things of the world but to let God transform us into new people by changing the way we think. Then we will know God’s perfect will for us. Only God can give us the right things to think and do. His will is perfect and He will help us by transforming us into the people He created us to be. Go to Him and submit your life to Him.


Changing our thought patterns is not a one-time process. To make a change that sticks, we have to be committed to that change. Commitment comes with new habits, new thoughts and new ways. To live a life pleasing to God and not man we need to get into God’s word, read it daily and talk to Him all day long. He is our new best friend. He wants us to live by His commands because they are good for us. To make our new ways stick, we need God every day.

Thinking back on my marriage, there were a lot of things I could have done differently that would have made it a better marriage. However, through my mistakes I learned much. Because I failed at so many things, I succeed now. If you struggle with something in life, don’t look at it as a failure. Look at it as a learning opportunity and thank God for what He is teaching you.