I can remember growing up and wanting to fit in. I never really gave my opinion about anything because I was afraid of controversy. I never really expressed my feelings because I wanted to agree with everyone else. That led me to start smoking, drinking and cussing. That led me to doing the things of the world rather than of God. I was raised in the church; however, I wanted to fit in with the world.
As I grew up, I continued to attempt to please others. It was hard. When I would please one person, another person would be hurt. When I would try to please them, another person would disagree. The more I strived to please others, the less good I felt about me.
There was even a point in my life when someone asked me if I ever had an opinion. They asked if I ever stood for anything. I was shocked that they even dared to ask. Because I did stand for something. I stood for the opinion of whoever was with me at the time. I agreed with them. I supported them. I did want they wanted us to do. Doesn’t that count for anything? I was hurt and then mad at myself for not standing for anything.
I think I had really decided that I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything enough to stand for it. I wanted to be easy-going. I wanted to go with the flow. You can’t go with the flow and stand for something because that would stir things up. I was not a stirrer-upper. So all through my life, for over 40 years, I did what others thought was best.
I quit college and went to work. I got married because I was supposed to have children and a family. I got a job that I didn’t like. Everyone had so many plans for me I just stayed busy for them. I had forgotten about God. Well, not completely, but enough to push Him in the background of my life because I was so busy trying to do what I could to fit in and be liked. But what I was really doing was blending in so much that I wasn’t making a difference at all to anyone. Especially not to God.
Then a few years ago something changed. After trying to please so many people, I found myself alone with many messes that I had created along the way. I had financial troubles. I had relationship issues. I had problems in just about every part of my life. Everyone else had found someone who they wanted to be around more than me. I didn’t have friends. Only people who wanted things from me. I had made so many mistakes and done things I never dreamed I would ever do.
One morning I woke up like I always do. I woke up worried. Worried about life. Worried about family. Worried about money. That is the day I got on my knees and prayed. I asked God what I had done wrong. I asked Him how I could get back on track. I asked Him what He wanted me to do. And He answered. He told me to get back into His word. And I did. I began reading His word every morning and praying. I began writing.
Since then, I now stand for something. Since then, I now know what God wants me to do and am no longer concerned with what others think. I no longer am obsessed with the things of the world. I read His word every morning. We have conversations and He helps me write. He helps me share His word. He gives me direction. And no matter what anyone else may think, I am standing for Him now. My opinions are based on His word. My actions are based on His direction. My help comes from Him.
And when others tell me I need to leave His word out of my writings, I just keep doing as He tells me to do. And when others tell me to stop being so nice and good to others, I just keep doing as He tells me to do. And when others tell me to get involved in their worldly actions, I just keep doing as He tells me to do. I now stand for Him and my opinions are based on His word. And I am so thankful and grateful that He waited on me all these years to draw me close to Him again.
And He is waiting for you. Won’t you call on Him to draw you close to Him again?
“Draw Me Close To You”
Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I’m Your friend
You are my desire
And no one else will do
‘Cause nothing else can take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find a way
Bring me back to You
Bring me back, oh Jesus.
Want a closer relationship with God? Go to Him today and ask Him to draw you closer to Him. And He will.